She was always smiling and she used to pretend like everything was fine, like she wasn't feeling all those horrible things, like she wasn't dying inside...But she was. The truth is that deep down, she was really, really destroyed inside...feeling lonely, empty, desperate, without a purpose...she needed help, support, affection, but she would never ask for that and no one could notice that she needed it. The truth is, nobody could never understand what she was feeling, her feelings/thoughts were to complex to be understood. She had lost the only thing that kept her from thinking about those horrible things, the only thing that used to make her feel complete, the only thing that used to give her some comfort... It was gone for good. It wouldn't come back ever again. Because the only thing that used to keep her sane, was also the only thing that could tear her apart. And it did, over and over again. That's the reason why that was over forever. And thinking about "forever" without including in the same sentence that "thing that used to keep her sane" was too much pain to handle.